Why People are Skeptics

For the last few years, we have gone from being completely skeptical of essential oils to using them full blown in our house.  We use them to:

• Support our hormones.
• Help support our family’s immunity.
• Take care of the occasional toothache.
• Help provide seasonal relief.
• Support healthy breastfeeding and our time of the month (ladies..).

The list goes on and on – was I always aware of what they could do? Not at all – actually, I have mentioned many times that I had a friend that pestered me into picking up this Young Living Starter Kit when I was pregnant with baby 4… and yes – I did get it. But when it arrived, it sat in my kitchen cabinet for months. And months – before I even considered cracking it open to really figure out what it was for and what I was going to do with it. 

The months that followed were truly a different experience. I was placed in several Facebook groups with people who used oils for everything I noted above – some were moms, many were dads, most people had kids – the most common thread in that group is that everyone wanted an alternative.  Am I thankful now for her pestering? Yes – that I am.

This morning I was thinking about that though and said .. hmm, I wonder why I was more receptive to using Essential Oils and making changes than David? In fact, I’m more receptive to almost everything when compared to him.

In most cases, it’s always the female in the household that jumps to new changes in efforts to improve their family’s health. What is it about women that makes them more receptive to trying new things or incorporating changes in the home?   

There are a lot of things that my husband does that I know SO little about – just a few days ago he was explaining to me that our military jobs (that we had 15 years ago) were re-classified and he said “you should see what switches and satellites they use now”.

I was dead quiet.

I said “I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t even remotely be able to do now, what I did 15 years ago. I just don’t remember any of it.” His jaw dropped – and he said “you’re crazy – really?”

Really.

My husband can write an amazing and detailed course for his military unit – he can disassemble and reassemble a computer in a matter of minutes, he can even master resume writing and conquer not one but a handful of interviews all in the matter of a day at a level I would never be able to dream of doing myself.  He can change the oil, timing belt and replace the alternator in the car in a matter of an hour .. while I stand there wiping sweat off my forehead.  Sure, I used to work in a corporate setting, but after you have been home for the last 8 years with your kids, that stuff .. well, it just falls to the wayside a bit. 

But then… there are quite a few things that I know that he isn’t too well versed on – like soaking grains (and the benefit of doing that..) – or, how to make kefir (and why…). He would be hard pressed to be able to whip up my favorite sweet potato rolls, and as far as canning strawberry jam – forget about it.   Let’s talk about writing blog posts while kids are all asking for food, while mopping the floor and listening to a screaming 4 month old – forget that too. ;)  As for pinterest? He has no clue.

It’s not that i’m ignorant to those things – and it’s not that he’s unwilling to learn more about the domestic side to taking care of the house and kids… but it goes quite a bit deeper. Both of us are highly intelligent people and we do what we know we can do the best, to help our family. The main difference is that this stuff doesn’t interest him.

So why do I bring this up? 

Over the last three years, we have realized that although we are open to alternatives and change, not everyone else is on board.   In many households, the husband is not on board. In others, it’s extended family that’s not on board.   In our family, my husband IS on board – but I am the one who has pushed that train for the last 3 years. It definitely wasn’t because he was opposed – it’s just not of interest to him. It’s not his passion – and he doesn’t have the time to dedicate to it to learn why all these changes really matter.

Last week he mentioned this very same thing to me:

“I’m so glad that you were willing to research and read, and you drove the train to make changes beceause I wouldn’t have done that. I would have been in the same place, this entire time. I mean I knew I needed to do something but it’s just too much for me to take in.”

Obviously over the last few years, I have communicated effectively with him to help try to explain some of the things I am learning, why I am making changes, and why I am preparing food for our kids differently. I am also explaining to him why I don’t buy produce at the grocery store anymore, why I prefer local organic produce and why we pay more for raw milk versus processed milk that most others purchase.

Although he doesn’t “understand” to the same extent as I do (he’s not the one doing research), he is willing to listen to my opinion and he values my opinion as I try very hard to do what I think is best for my family.

So what are the roadblocks that he, and others may see?  

Regular Commercial Advertising

No matter where you go – whether it be the doctor’s office, dentist, even for an oil change, there are displays. Advertising exists in magazines, billboards, television, even on Facebook as we scroll our timeline. The job of companies is to make these {commercial} items stand out and make them appealing to most consumers. 

For the most part, they do AMAZING at that – right?

In many cases, turning on the television will lead to a series of commercials for pharmaceutical drugs of all kinds – they seem more widely accepted, and {appear} to be highly researched (though in many cases they aren’t) – in the end, we are constantly hammered with advertisements that are uber appealing and doctor recommended.

Change is Hard

Although some of us are receptive to change, it’s difficult for most people to make that transition on a permanent basis. In all honesty, it’s hard for me too – it’s a daily struggle, especially given that my kids visit their grandma (who doesn’t have the same concerns), and dislike my answer and approach their dad to get an answer they like.

Most people are highly resistant to change – if what they are doing now works, then they don’t see a need to fix it or change it.  Forget new things – not only are they questionable, they are unfamiliar…  if it’s anything my husband loves more it’s feeling comfortable with what he’s using. It took me a LONG time to get him to consider drinking raw milk – he was comfortable “avoiding” milk for such a long time.  The possibility of having complications (with digestion, taste) wasn’t appealing to him.

Now? I don’t have to twist his arm .. he drinks a cup or two a day. That’s a huge shift.

Essential Oils are similar too – people are so apprehensive because of the unknown, not to mention they are comfortable with their over the counters that they don’t feel the need to switch to something else. Combined with the suspicion that natural alternatives are over-rated, they pass up the opportunity to try because they are all too comfortable with what they are already using.

Public Perception

What do you mean, you don’t want FREE body wash or FREE cookies?

It’s not normal to skip over FREE things – after all, doesn’t everyone want to save? Those who approach a different mentality when it comes to their health may face some of the worst adversity from friends and family.

It’s not normal to be different. 

Using essential oils is no different – sure, they can make some amazing health and beauty items, but when it comes to supporting immunity, {women’s} hormones, men’s libido.. and more, it seems rather weird to people. When you tell people you incorporate essential oils into your family’s health and wellness, you’re bound to get a confused stare or no response at all. It’s different – it’s not popular, it faces extreme criticism and in many cases, inaccurate comments about their effectiveness. After all, they aren’t patented, and because they aren’t patented, they can’t make the pharmaceutical industry millions of dollars.

Lack of Understanding

When it comes to making changes in your family in terms of diet, health and wellness, you might know exactly why you are doing specific things.  For example, I am really passionate about keeping my children well – not just with essential oils but with supplements like cod liver oil, raw milk, regular fermented kefir and a diet exempt of grains. It works for us.

I have always been open to alternative options, but I wasn’t always as willing to try new things. In fact .. it wasn’t until our third child that I started becoming more receptive.  Most people are unwilling to spend money on a product that they don’t know enough about – they are too comfortable using what they “know” works, what is advertised in mainstream media and what is more widely accepted among their friends.

Over the last few years, we have transformed our mentality – it wasn’t always easy, and my husband wasn’t always on board. What worked the best for me was introducing him to really good books (the China Study), great articles (PubMed) and documentaries that helped show some of the things I felt were important.

We watched them together – we read together, and we discussed together. Every time I have done this, david seems to take away with the message I was trying to pass to him.  In the end, he became more understanding of the issues that were being addressed – from raw milk to using essential oils, buying local organic produce and sourcing meat from local sources).