Selfies ~ at some point in time, almost everyone has done one.
You might LOVE taking selfies – in fact, it’s such a trend now that you can’t really go anywhere without seeing someone making every attempt to take one. Or two. Or half a dozen…
Most of the time, people post selfies so they can post them on social media – I’m assuming so they can show everyone what they look like at their best, & how they spend their time.
Selfies have far bypassed all the social norms, and not only are teens obsessed with them, parents are involved in the trend, celebrities go to great lengths to take them.
But when does it go too far?
Or does it ever go too far?
We don’t get too deep into selfies in our home ~ I’ll admit that a selfie when we go out anywhere really isn’t our goal. My husband is quite the same as I am, we’re in our late 30’s and I don’t think either of us have ever taken a selfie – together or on our own. We do take pictures of our kids, we’ll occasionally share a picture of our kids on Facebook but not often.
Lets just say that OUR kids DO notice this selfie trend when we are out – and sometimes, it’s really hard to explain to them why people do it.
We spent Sunday at the farm picking peaches, and it was a really FUN afternoon. We walked out to the orchard even though it was pretty warm, and we spent about an hour picking fresh peaches and nectarines. Next to us picking at another tree was another family… this family spent LITTLE time picking and all of their time taking selfies.
At first I never noticed. But then eventually it was hard not to notice.
“Ok! Let’s do selfies! Me first, with you, then me with you, then you both together, then we’ll all take one with each other individually..” (the selfies moved from that tree, to another tree with higher branches, then another tree that had more peaches at their head level… it really did get a little ridiculous.)
And you couldn’t ignore them because they were SO loud and all you could hear was the constant “ok! Another one! NEW face this time!” … eventually my boys noticed, and they really NEVER notice this stuff.
“Mom, why aren’t they picking peaches?”
Then the redo of the selfie because the branch was too low… then the lighting wasn’t complimentary, then the hair was a touch out of place.. my 9 year old turned to me and made a statement: “Mom, why do people do that?”
We ran into the same people about 30 minutes later at the other orchard, and the trend continued. And just when you think your children don’t notice, they do…. All in all, almost 2 hours at the Orchard, we left with 17 pounds of peaches while they had a mere quarter of a flat.
Confusing to say the least.
Why do we take them?
People jump on board the trend of selfie-taking, and spend so little time asking themselves why they really do it.
Are you taking a picture as a fun way to capture a moment with friends? Or are you showing your friends how you spend your time? For some, I think it might be a form of self definition where you are looking to be noticed, get attention – perhaps be in control of your image.
Trying to look better isn’t just self definition though – it’s about being accepted. You take several selfies – because it might take you a while to find the RIGHT one – when you find it, you post it on everything from Facebook to Instagram, Twitter and maybe even Snapchat.
For some people, not having a selfie or a good selfie might mean that they aren’t seen…You are not being noticed.
Why it Affects our Children
Our kids are at a stage where they look to adults, or those who lead them, for guidance. They are at a stage in their life that they are looking to define themselves – but selfies may not be the answer to that.
More times than not, our kids may not even realize how quickly a simple selfie can turn into a picture they later regret – and the fact that they need a selfie on Facebook or social media to get likes and retweets to feel like they are interesting is a false sense of security for them.
It’s terrifying to me, that we have people who measure their self worth in terms of likes on a selfie.
Taking selfies can turn into a problem when the entire trip with your family results in over half of the trip spent getting the perfect selfie.
Social media can turn into a problem when a person’s sense of self worth relies on this selfie for peer approval.
So are Selfies Bad?
In moderation, selfies and social media can definitely be positive tools for self expression. But if you are out with your family and you are spending the entire outing trying to capture the perfect selfie, you probably need to put the phone away and truly spend TIME with your family.