How to Get your Family Involved with Life Changes

It’s a daily challenge for many of us – when we try to change our habits – no matter what they are, and other people in our live don’t’ want to be changed in that same way.

It’s a struggle.. do you agree? I know many of us are in the same predicament.

As bad as it may sound, it’s reality for most of us if we have family or friends who are resistant to change. 

You obviously had something in your life that caused you to make the changes you did – whether it be a health ailment, problem or a family member experienced some trouble with their health that gave you a little bit of a scare. So you, being the motivated person that you are, made the decision to eat whole foods, buy local perhaps, eliminate the processed food and switch to a lighter diet that was not as dependent on meat – perhaps you even switched to drinking raw milk for yourself and would like to introduce it to your family.

But… you are struggling – because your kids want to eat goldfish and oreos.. your mother in law wants to feed the kids Lucky Charms and Apple Juice, and nobody wants to seem to be on the same train of thought as you.  Including {maybe..} your spouse – who finds it just easier to give them what they want.

So what do you do? Abandon your health concerns and revert back to the old habits?

Force change on the family?

The answer is that there is honestly NO simple answer. If you are single and live on your own, it’s quite easy to make the change you need to make for your health. But if you are married, that requires you to work with your spouse or partner to compromise.  After all, both of you live in the same space and share many things in common – including your kids.

So what works? What do you do?  Lets try to figure out what the best route is to get others on board.

Get Everyone on Board

At some point you read about making changes in your life, or… you may have even scrolled through Facebook to see a change someone else has made in their lives. You may have even read a magazine article or seen commercials on the subject.

Perhaps a blog post or Facebook post got you energized. Or, it could have been a mom at a local mom’s group.

You have been thinking about making changes to your health — and you finally give in. Let’s do it. The only issue is… getting the rest of the family involved – after all, they aren’t even remotely as enthused as you’d like them to be.

During the period where you were in limbo of a decision, you went through at thinking process – you weighed the pros and the cons.. you looked to others for their opinion. You finally arrived at your decision and … they are upset. Unfortunately, you came to the decision on your own without their input – so they never had the same opportunity to go through the thinking process.

To make it easier on everyone, it’s better to get everyone involved in the thinking process from the beginning – not so much once you come to the decision at the end. Let them know why you feel the way you do and what peaked your interest in making changes.  Talk to them — not just at the start but at every step of the way, including AFTER the decision has been made.

What people don’t like and what can give them a bad taste in their mouth is being forced to change. Never try to make people feel that way – don’t ask them to change, because that truly won’t end well.  Ask them to help YOU change, then once you have gotten that out of the way, ask them for their support in your endeavor. 

People love to help others – without having to change. Ask them to be your buddy in terms of accountability – someone you can talk to when you are struggling .. someone you can confide in as you progress.

Be the Example

Not everyone will be on board with your changes, but the best way to help them consider jumping on the better bandwagon train is to be a great role model for change.  

Try to inspire people to consider something they would not normally consider – by being a great example. Keep doing what you do, but don’t annoy them with too much pressure. Instead, include them in some of the things you enjoy doing .. and inspire them to step out of their comfort box.

If you love going to the gym, and you enjoy dance classes… invite them to take a Zumba class with you. Or.. ask them to head to the gym with you and work out on their own while you are in class. Maybe watching YOU have fun in class with inspire them to want to workout too!

Make your Own Changes

If you have friends or family that won’t get on board with you.. just ask them for their support. Ask them to give you the space to make changes that you need to make without their help.

Sometimes people can feel threatened when a loved one makes changes – or.. when someone interrupts their routine.  Ask them to allow you to do things on your own if they aren’t interested in doing them with you. Moreover, politely ask them if they can avoid criticizing or poking fun at the choices you have made – letting them know that resentful or humorous comments can be hard for you to handle. Make an effort to show them that these changes are something that will make you happy and that you want nothing more than to make them happy too — so if that means allowing their routine to remain, then that’s what you have to do. 

If you usually spend Saturday mornings together, but now you have the goal of getting back in shape through running, then make time to spend with those loved ones at night or.. at a different time of the day.  Perhaps you can find an online support group to locate others with the same goals so that you can support each other, too.

Family Challenges

One of the best ways to get the family involved (including kids!) is by making things a family challenge. Make challenges with your wife, husband — even kids, to get them involved.

If you are out on a trip with your family, it can be hard to eat properly — so you end up coming back feeling sluggish. Challenge your family to get back into the swing of things with competitions between each other.

Challenges are fun if you do them together as a group – by incorporating some small rewards, you can encourage them to complete the challenge with you.

Changes with Kids

If you make changes with food in your home, it can be difficult at first for your family to jump on board. A few years ago, when we made changes .. we struggled with our older kids. The younger ones not so much – they were more open to accepting what we had in mind than the older two.

One of the biggest hurdles we faced is dealing with extended family – but that’s another post entirely! :)

Here are some things we have learned from our own experiences:

• Kids will learn to change, but it won’t be immediate! Give them time to slowly acclimate to the changes you have in mind. 
• Kids, for the most part, will eat what they are given .. provided that you are excited to give it to them. I have noticed with my kids that when I don’t “like” something and I’m vocal about it, that they will, in turn, assume they won’t like it easier. I don’t’ like celery — at all… but if I make it in a soup (Celery Soup) they go crazy for it. Find ways to turn their dislikes into likes through different food ideas – Butternut Squash in Mac & Cheese… Celery in Celery Soup, and even Zucchini into Zucchini fritters. 
• If the kids are going to eat something like pizza on a Friday night, and it’s not something you would normally eat, then avoid giving in “too much” – sure, give them pizza but require them to drink water or raw milk with their meal instead of guzzling down soda.  Then don’t forget to turn around and give them their Probiotic to help that little tummy recover!
• Eating out? If you are, find restaurants that have healthier foods the kids will like.
• Find their favorite foods and try to work out genius ways to make that food healthier – my kids love pizza, but instead of leaning towards Dominos or Papa John’s, I try to make my own at home.

Teach to Learn

The best way to help others make changes is by helping them – supporting them when they want to make changes (not when you want them to..), showing them, and even teaching them what you have done.

Although they may not care too much at first, over time, they will learn and grow a little more.. and eventually feel independent enough to learn how to incorporate changes on their own without your assistance.